Morning – What’s been Happening
A quick entry in the morning on the Quest. Things are changing, I can feel the impressions shaken up through the Earthwaking conference moving through my form. There is a great change going on, and I am excited for this next phase of the Quest.
Afternoon – Trials of the Heart
I write this entry while driving, breathing into the space and air of Austin. After the easefulness of the morning, challenges arose, bringing out the patterns that had been festering within. Such is always the nature of healing, and I do my best to move through it with Grace.
Things happen on our timeline. Of all the aspects of the path, it is the witnessing of the progression through time that defines the journey. Such as the framework for the experience, the sequence of events in which we come to see the contents of our manifestation ever more clearly, all happening at the exact moment they must for us to fulfill our sacred purpose.
There’s great value in witnessing our moments for there is a physics to when things occur. They happen when they’re supposed to, and they happen because we go through a vibrational shift. Over this past weekend, I went to a conference with Earthwaking University, which subsequently led me to purchase access to their Visionary program. I did this because for all of my Gifts and attainments, for all of my victories, I have not yet experienced the full expression of what I know is the more clarified and cohesive pattern for my life. There is the very human realization that there is work yet to do in the caverns of the self such that I may live in my version of a more heavenly earth.
To choose to allow others the privilege of coaching me in something is a big step for me into trusting the ways in which God has shown up through other humans on my path. It is a movement deeper into intimacy with the human experience itself, something that has been at the center of my own Wounding and disappointment with what must be done to transform the circumstances of this age for the brighter.
Yes such is the form of the healing at this time, and so, the energies around my route now more clarified than ever through the sacredness of my relationship with Misty Odom, I feel a long end desired movement into trust and renewed faith in the Divine.
I know there’s a grand irony to this. That I both recognize myself as a messenger, bringing the awareness of the Akasha into clarity for the people, and the reality of my own human trauma and subconscious patterns that must be resolved. It is not lost on me that revealing that Process, that manifestation of God being human, of infinitude appearing through unlimited human perception, is part of why I created the Mythica. To show people how I had come Wholeness and embodiment in a more heavenly earth, and how they could too.
In her excellence of perception, Misty recognized early on the pattern of distortion within my root chakra and how it was affecting my viewpoint. As I gaze upon my timeline and witnessed the progression of my own clearing and awakening, I see how she is the manifestation of the perfect form at the perfect time, to be the reflection in the sacred mirror that allows me to see the places where I am as any yet – unhealed, such that I may address these things and transform the conditions of my reality.
As I said, these things happen in time. My meeting Misty in the akashic temple I shared with Yeshua Lucis in 2019, my movement to Austin and our subsequent sharing of space, my attendance at the Earthwaking seminar and the recognition of The next step in that journey, all happening in a succession of moments given context for the sequence in which they unfold.
Before Misty and the majesty of her being, before I had arrived in Austin and then in the confluence of our timelines at the Sacred Mirror Temple, I could not see this. Could not comprehend how the processing distortions in my subconscious had been creating my reality. For this I am deeply appreciative and in recognition of the aspect of the Divine that she has represented for me.
It works both ways. That is the nature of our collective consciousness unfolding of the dance of ourselves as cells in that divine mind, perfectly mirroring each other‘s subconscious patterns as we walk each other home along the timelines of our shared journey. Well Misty has represented a particular brand of healing for me, I have represented her own version of that, the perfect reflection of her own resolving subconscious patterns in the unfoldment of her own timeline of becoming.
There is a deep yoga in this, and it relates to our movement through time. At the visionary conference, I was able to see both how much work I had done and have a greater grasp on how much work there was left to do to reach the reality that I desire. Seeing the distortion in my own. Intimacy and limitation of relationship from a new degree of clarity. Such was a thing that could not have happened prior to The movement which led me to the temple and the sacred alliance that is my present. It’s with this in mind that I chronicle the events of this Afternoon, such that this expression of vulnerability and honesty may serve as a beacon for others moving through their own version of Healing and wholeness.
That’s the heavenly perspective. The understanding of what’s happening in and architectural way, where I witness the patterns between ourselves playing out as perfect and simultaneous mirrors, jewels on the indric net of our woven timelines. It’s a beautiful thing, yet the perspective of heaven in the process of earth can often be far apart, for as I move through these next steps of healing and wholeness, the issues in my relationships, including that with my lover, come to the surface, revealing the patterns that I am just coming to see in Consistent clarity.
See in a very human level I just had a conversation with Misty that brought up a challenge in intimacy between us that has been there for quite some time, Where I have not felt open to the blossoming Heart Space that defines intimate relationships. While we exist in great harmony in many dimensions and there is grand respect for each other‘s avatar, this has been an ongoing burr in the substrata of our relationship. This afternoon, it surfaced once again, demanding itself into attention through our conversation.
It wasn’t pleasant. While I knew that this issue of intimacy was the mirror of our individual manifestations, it was difficult to negotiate for the simple fact that I did not have discernment as to it’s origin in the resolving patterns of my subconscious. I only knew that it was a new clarity into a pattern within myself that could not have been seen prior to the moments leading to our discussion. I could not tell her why there was reticence in my heart, save the recognition that I was only just then coming to see the next onion light skin of my own resolution with a lifeline pattern of distrust in the nature of relationships themselves.
This wasn’t easy for her to hear, for it had come up many times and she was frustrated with its manifestation. In response, her words spoke of a desire for tenderness, and involvement and inclusion in my life that she felt I was giving to others more than I was giving to her.
I understood. I understood so deeply. I didn’t know why it was so difficult for me. Intent on honoring her with as much honesty as I could muster, I scanned my previous relationships in memory, noting a consistent pattern in which I had only touched the surfaces of intimacy, unaware of the depths I had laying outside my perspective. I felt a flurry alongside a hardness within my heart, and was at a loss.
It was frustrating on both sides. I wanted to be in that space as well, yet something was in the way. And I knew it wasn’t about her. It was about my relationship with the Creation itself. About my relationship with Love.
During the seminar, the founder repeated again and again that all things were love. That God was Love, and anything that was not Love was living in an illusion. just as I could see that Misty was the perfect manifestation of the quality I needed in that moment for my own transformation, I saw his presentation as an act of divine providence… A reminder of the way of relating with the creation and the necessity of human transformation in which I have had the most difficulty.
Put simply, I have not loved it here. Despite having lived a rarefied and magical life, my relationship with the necessity of personal transformation and the very progression of the human form has been an antagonistic one, in which I have so often felt as though I was demanded to love circumstances which were unpleasant and to resolve my very human trauma and separation. It is a curious thing, for I designed the Mythica to show the nature of the human journey and I am now confessing my own horizon of transformation, where I see so clearly how I have not loved the circumstance of being and not been in full alignment with that aspect of the Divine. Like I said it could seem hypocritical. This schism between my own heavenly and earthly Aspects.
As I look upon my desk, I see a book, seemingly random sitting by my keyboard, it’s title – “Making Love to the Universe”. I remember where I got it, at a yoga studio in the Emerald City of Eugene, during the 2018 adventures of the Journey Home. As a manifestation of the Universe reminding me of my next steps, the significance of it’s appearance is clear.
I want to live in a reality where I am experiencing the intimacy and receipt of the gift of my being by the world. I want to share that space with the beings like Misty who arrive on my path, to be in that ever been expanding wonder. While I recognize that each of us is getting the exact reflection of our own resolving impressions, I want her to have this. I love her so dearly, and wish her to receive the regard and devotion that I feel she deserves.
Yet I know that to be this thing, for myself and for my intimate relations, I must heal it within myself. Change the way in which I have been engaging with the creation. To find a way to love the process. To drop deeper into the human condition so that I can experience the fullness of emotions and satisfactions that can exist in the experience.
And it’s uncomfortable. During our discussion, I tried to show how I was just coming to the realms of intimacy and open-heartedness after so many years of wounding and repairing the splinters of my reality back to home. That what we were experiencing was simply the next step in a lifelong journey of integrating into the earth plane. That I was only just coming, through the healing provided in our sacred compact , to see how I had been limited and traumatized in my perspective, and could only do what I was capable of doing in the moments of my own ongoing revelation of self. I expressed that, having come to the realization of my own challenges of intimacy, that I was taking proactive action in signing up for the Visionary course, such that I could transform those patterns and give and receive the intimacy that my heart longed for. That such was the most honorable thing I felt I could do in-service to an even better relationship where each of us received what they truly desired.
Yet try as I did to be clear, there was still suffering. I felt sadness, frustration, anger and spitefulness, a medley of emotional patterns related to the resolution of our shared process. I wanted so badly to give her the clarity and consistency, the openness of intimacy That she wanted, you could not deny my own resolving Distance from the heart. Such was the thing that drew me to the Visionary program. While I recognized the transformation waiting for me in my finance and fortune, it was the constant declaration of Love as reality and the action that drew me, shining like a beacon of alignment along the timeline of my journey.
I do not know what will happen between Misty and I. I only know that we are in perfect mirror of each other‘s resolving patterns, fulfilling the ritual space she herself involved in naming her realm the “Temple of the Sacred Mirror“. Perhaps she will decide she has had her fill of this reflection, and I will move onward. Or perhaps we should go even deeper, actively facing the qualities within ourselves that require healing such that we may both receive the Love that we wish to give to the world in our proper form.
As I make my way along the sideway highways, I consider my options. What would I do, and where would I go if she decides, and her rightful sovereignty, that she wishes something else. I decide then to visit the campsite I set up, hidden in the woods of Austin, to see if the words that I placed camouflaging my layer remain solid … if the tent I lived in before entering the sanctuary with Misty remains sovereign.
It had been seven months or more since I was last here, yet I could feel the voices of the Deva welcoming me home. I could sense the subtle thread work of my magic pulsing through the space, a container of energies blended into the living intelligence of the Land.
As I come to the tent I see, nothing has changed. I feel the breath and intelligence of the Deva laughing. Softening me. Welcoming me home. I feel the soothing nature of the green, and the recognition of my virtue on the quest by the Goddess. That the campsite divined along my druidic journey remains sacred despite all this time.
It is a reminder, that I am always supported. That regardless of what happens, I am graced by the mission which has defined my life. That no matter what occurs along the path, the Deva, Agents of Gods elemental essence, hold me in their bosom, clear of the resolving patterns shared by those of us wearing the human form.
As I stand amongst the green, I remember again why I have been so reticent to engage in the human condition. Why I have had such a preference for the soothing and for verdant majesty of the Deva.
Here, the reflections are so sweet. Here, in the embrace of the trees, there is remember. Such inspires me. I do not fault or blame myself or Misty for our resolving patterns, for I had come to see the perfection of the unfoldment long before I took a weekend seminar with a cadre of brightened adepts. There is no question that she and I love each other, that we are, in our essence, Love itself. There is no doubt in the excellence or majesty of our share characters, nor the diligence of our intent to clear our own portion of the distortion such that our truest self may emerge. I remind myself of this, as a pilot the vehicle (loaned to me by that same quality of character that is Misty) back towards the temple, as I do, I consciously soften, facing the impressions within my form to the best of my ability, Softening and breathing into the being of love as an active meditation l, Doing what I can to transform my inner and plus outer circumstance in-service to us both.
I wonder what shall happen when I return to the temple. If Misty and I shall walk further on the path, or go our separate ways, finding the next answer to our own inner questions as we move along the timelines Of our lives.