2016-4-9 – WHY?!?!?!?!

It’s times like this that I feel like giving up.  Yet ultimately, what choice do I have? I must endure the Quest.  I must find a way to transform the vibrational circumstance of my Life into something better.  Something supportive.  Where beings *actually* show up.  Where alliances and resonance and the flow ACTUALLY happens.

For long I’ve endured this isolation.  This constant reaching out and being rebuffed.  Struggling, to build a media network that reveals the heroic journey, that showcases how we’re all connected.  I cannot count the number of times I’ve reached out for alliance with the so-called “family” of the Galactic, only to be ignored or disrespected.  Such s the mockery of fellowship, the defilement of Family at it’s core.

Were I lacking in honour, were I not willing to play fair or to collaborate, this would be different.  Yet such is not my nature.  At my core, I wish for the round table, for the collection of beings aligned towards a common and bright goal.

It is not lost on me that this IS the Quest.  That I have incarnated into a shitstorm of scarcity and confusion, squeezed into this mortal form and demanded to clear my consciousness of the patterns that lay within it’s own subconscious, to heal and have compassion for those same patterns of scarcity and distortion that lay within the Collective.

At this moment, I am on the very edge, living in a trailer that’s wrecked on the inside due to the explosion during the ‘Into the Summerlands’ episode earlier this year.  There is no money.  I am forced to go to the food bank, and daily, wander up to the spine of the Dragon, into the sands and the rocks of the mountain, to use the deva yoga to clear my Self.  I bathe in the freezing Waters, invoking the same, with the intentions of healing these distorted patterns within my prism of Self.  And while I long for that true fellowship and companionship, that alliance in the creation of our singular and collective projects, every attempt I have made to collaborate and connect, to share the Gift of the Mythica with the People, has been ignored.  I feel trapped.  Bound to circumstance made of vibrations that I can sense churning within my Self.  Without any other choice, I continue my ministrations, invoking the Life Visioning practices of ‘Manifestor consciousness’, trying to invoke Gratitude for what has been a decades-long frustration of ongoing denial.

Yet I cannot give up.  I know that I must go through this, that I must find my way across the Shadowlands of scarcity, transforming my circumstance into something better.  I must continue the practices, and continue my journey along the rainbow road to the Brightlands of Abundance and Fellowship.

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